2013 was quite a year for me. I left one position to pursue another, had it fall through, and picked up where I could. I haven't done anywhere near as much in my MK business as I could have, but I do not feel a sense of regret and "Oh-I-should-haves" hanging over my head. The biggest success this year was beginning my book in February. Now, on the fin...al day of the year, I am not quite finished, but I have hit the climax and plan on finishing the first draft by the end of this coming February. For years, I've believed and somewhat acted like a writer and now I've fully come into the commitment of it and it is very empowering to know you really are who you've always believed yourself to be. Beyond the book, I've delved even further into fitness and overall health and wellness and have developed myself into being a person I love being. The only thing I would really change is that I stop over-analyzing things and that I stop spending so much time on Facebook (...).
I do not believe in doing New Year's Resolutions, because I believe people set themselves up for failure. The start of the year, the week, or the month are the most frequent times people try to start something new or change who they are. I began my novel in February, I began exercising regularly two Novembers ago, and I decided to be truly honest with myself sometime in August. But although I do not do resolutions simply because the new year is here, just like I don't really do presents just because society dictates that is what we should do on Christmas and birthdays, I will say this: 2013 had it's ups and downs as every year does. I'm certainly no where near the position in life I want to be but despite economical issues, I feel I'm steadily on the path to be the person who I know I always have been and it's absolutely fabulous. What I can promise myself, as well as to you all, that 2014 will be lived with vigor, with peace of mind, with faith and belief in myself - with patience for myself to know that I don't have to make all decisions RIGHT NOW, and that it is perfectly fine to change my mind, and without a hefty amount of procrastination or self-doubt. Who knows what it'll ring in, but I have a very positive expectation of what this new year is to bring -- my life is only going to get better.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Why I Love to Write
Hi. Long time no see.
I feel like I must share to the world the reason I love to read, but
moreso why I love to write. It’s simple:
the magic. There is magic in
writing. There is magic in reading. And when you write, you get to be a part of
that magic.
There is something so compelling to me about being able to dive into a
book, to crack its spine and smell the ink and glue, and submerse myself into
the text so deeply that I forget what time it is, I forget what day it is, I
forget that I’m supposed to be making dinner or getting ready for bed because I
have to be up early tomorrow. I can
project myself into the world of the novel and disappear.
To be clear, wanting to disappear does not mean my life isn’t
wonderful. It is splendid! But that says nothing to my desire to be able
have the experiences of many other lives!
To be able to fly with my own wings?
To speak another language? To wield
actual magic? To experience and overcome the frustrations of life as a woman in
the 1800s? To be scared shitless and
escape with barely my life, improving my character and expanding the definition
of myself during that escape from tricky situations that cause me to have
adrenaline rushes without ever having to ACTUALLY threaten my life? It’s amazing and wonderful.
And it saddens me because this world is increasingly caring less about
the magic that comes from the written word.
And please, let me emphasize this: the WRITTEN word. There is much to be gained from READING your
story and your adventure versus WATCHING it on a television. With reading, your imagination fills in most
of the blocks while the author merely takes you on the journey, like you’re
following a string of candies. You’re
mind is actively involved, working, processing, guessing, deducing,
creating. The details of these candies
and where they take you are yours to decide and to conjure and create, so long
as they remain candies along a journey that at least somewhat makes sense,
which is where the author comes in. The
author gets to be a part of it – the catalyst for such an adventure to begin.
As the author, not only are you thrilled and excited and drawn into the
book as a reader, eager to read the next page, but it is, quite literally, the
SAME for an author! I myself, while
writing my book, find that I can get frustrated, not by the story or what the
people do (although, yes, it can be frustrating… very…) but, let’s say if I’m reading,
I get frustrated that I CANNOT READ FAST ENOUGH and it’s hilarious because as I
write my book, I’m interested in knowing what happens next. I want to
“watch” the next chapter unfold in my head as though I would when I just grab a book by Rowling or Peters or King or whomever else. But the frustration comes from the fact that YOU CAN’T KNOW unless you WRITE IT. So you have to write it. Do you know where it’s going? Hell no. Of course you don’t. You did at the beginning. Or at least you thought you had a direction. And then you started fleshing out the characters, giving them quirks and idiosyncrasies while drawing on the traits that make your readers love them, and then… well, you succeed. They become 3D characters. And truly, I mean it when I say that 3D characters – erm... people – do whatever the hell they please, with no care to where you were going or what you were doing, or where you intended this story to go. They just pick it up, with their little, miniature, invisible hands, and CARRY IT OFF leaving you stranded by yourself, in a dessert, with nothing but your typewriter, a stack of paper, and if you’re lucky – some booze. Got to have booze to get the muse and genius to start chatting. Well. Sometimes. It sure helps. But the frustrating part is that you have to WRITE the story you are eager to READ, and that you yourself, the author, the “creator” they say, of these characters don’t even know where your book is going. And neither do your characters! Oh but they do. They’re tricky little sons of bitches and they like to collaborate and conspire against you, doing things behind your back, changing the dynamic, wow-ing you with traits you didn’t even know they had…
“watch” the next chapter unfold in my head as though I would when I just grab a book by Rowling or Peters or King or whomever else. But the frustration comes from the fact that YOU CAN’T KNOW unless you WRITE IT. So you have to write it. Do you know where it’s going? Hell no. Of course you don’t. You did at the beginning. Or at least you thought you had a direction. And then you started fleshing out the characters, giving them quirks and idiosyncrasies while drawing on the traits that make your readers love them, and then… well, you succeed. They become 3D characters. And truly, I mean it when I say that 3D characters – erm... people – do whatever the hell they please, with no care to where you were going or what you were doing, or where you intended this story to go. They just pick it up, with their little, miniature, invisible hands, and CARRY IT OFF leaving you stranded by yourself, in a dessert, with nothing but your typewriter, a stack of paper, and if you’re lucky – some booze. Got to have booze to get the muse and genius to start chatting. Well. Sometimes. It sure helps. But the frustrating part is that you have to WRITE the story you are eager to READ, and that you yourself, the author, the “creator” they say, of these characters don’t even know where your book is going. And neither do your characters! Oh but they do. They’re tricky little sons of bitches and they like to collaborate and conspire against you, doing things behind your back, changing the dynamic, wow-ing you with traits you didn’t even know they had…
And then, when your done, whether with the first or second or third or
last draft – it’s like you’ve just given birth!
All this work, all the sweat and blood and tears and bloody knuckles
from pounding your fists against a wall because your characters are just so. damn.
stubborn pays off. It pays off. You succeed through the journey. You went through the shambles, you stumbled
through the rough patches, and came out with one hell of a story and adventure –
and truly, memories – that you created and made real.
The funny part about it is that you ride along with the readers as your
story unfolds, and then once it’s complete, it doesn’t even feel like your
story. Sure, you did the work, you
wrote, you slaved away and showed up as the muse and genius had a conversation,
and sometimes an argument, and struggled as you tried to get down what both of
them were yacking and trying to keep it in line with your book, and you were
the one that went back and tied up the loose ends and left some to keep the
readers pissed and curious at the same time… it is yours, but really, it is its
own. No one owns it. It becomes alive. Who was that man that said an inanimate
object could not be alive? Did anyone
say that? I’m sure they did. But whoever the hell it was is wrong.
And that’s the beauty, that’s the magic, of being a writer. You create this fantastic world (and that
doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be a fantasy book) and you pour all your
heart and soul into this damn thing that doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere,
you hate it, you love it, you cry, you scream, you pout, and then you just
work, and then, BOOM. You write the late
word, and you graduate from a writer to an author. And as proud of it as you are, as mystified
as you are from the characters and the story and the plotline, it no longer
feels like yours. And so then you
celebrate it, you pass it around, you publish it. And you feel almost silly for people to be praising
what you did, because again, it doesn’t feel like yours. You were just the conduit. And then after the celebration, you go back to
your typewriter, back to your keyboard, or back to your pen and paper, and
begin again. Because that story is
done. And it was so THRILLING, you’re
ready for more. And you enter with a
sense that you’ve got it this time. It
won’t rock you as hard as it did the first time. And you’re wrong. You’re always wrong, just like laundry is
never done, and the dishes are always dirty.
But the stories are always exciting, always fun, and always fulfilling. Here we go.
Round two.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Yeah. So I Took a Hiatus
Yeah, so it seems blogging isn't really my thing. I have to consciously think about it and then do it when I'm thinking about it or... it doesn't happen! Lordy, how long as it been since I've posted on this thing? A while. Oh well.
Some updates: publishing job is going well! I'm still tweaking the art of finding leads without any assistance - it's a tricky thing, but I'm pushing through! - and the editing job is going well, but because it's freelance, it's sporadic, but still great when it happens! Hopefully, these two will become the forefront of my "profession" and I will be able to truly immerse myself in the industry of writing books and having them come to fruition!
My job at the doctor's office is going well but my hours are being cut again... I was originally working about 40-43 hours a week, and they were cut, and now, with the second cut, I will now be working (instead of 22.5 hours per week) 17.5 hours per week, and all in the afternoons instead of in the mornings. I was initially frustrated at this afternoon thing, because I really do enjoy getting off early, but I'm looking at it as a blessing in disguise to really have time in the mornings to master getting myself out there as a resource in the publishing and editing world, and then I'll go to work at the doctor's office, and when I get home, although it will be 530-6pm (...like a normal person, I suppose. But I like the flexibility of what I had before since I am so part-time), I will at least have the opportunity to train myself to still work in the morning and better those skills, ergo advancing myself and getting more leads for the publishing house and spending good time editing and exercising and writing my own book, and then when I DO get home from the doctor's office, at least all my responsibilities -- either self- or employer-imposed -- will be done and I don't have to worry about anything except eating dinner and enjoying time with the hubs. :) We'll see. I'm pretty worried about the financial portion of my cut hours, not so much the afternoon part, so I'm hoping I really can utilize these morning hours properly to boost my label out there and rock it so it doesn't matter that my hours were cut.
So I threw out my back on Tuesday (it's Sunday). I stretched the day I threw it, stretched Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, exercised P90X's Core Synergistics DVD on Saturday, and today, Sunday, I'll stretch it again later. My birthday is this coming Saturday and Friday night, we're going to PBR, and I REALLY want to get on the bull, so I have to treat my lower back with care. Here's hoping -- finger's crossed!
Nutrition is well. I'm eating well with an occasional treat every other day - sometimes every day - but it isn't too large. I've been eating fruit on an empty stomach, pretty much cutting out dairy as much as I possible can, eating animal protein only for dinner if I can help it, drinking a large glass of water right after I wake up, before each meal, right before bed, and then of course, whenever I'm thirsty throughout the day (I have always had a lot of water), eating a lot of veggies and fruits for snacks, and having half a plate full of veggies (eating them first) with meals, only eating whole grains and as many natural, fresh things as I can. I'm also trying to eat a bite or two of veggies/fruits prior to any meats or carbs because that'll keep my system more alkaline since animal meats and carbs are more acidic... I think. I don't remember, I only remember that it's good for you to do that, so I'm doing that. Trying to eat more plant protein. I'll never go all vegetarian, but hey, mostly vegetarian doesn't hurt. But I still eat chicken and turkey and fish, and hey - who doesn't love bacon?
Have seriously been contemplating on getting certified in Nutrition if only to help myself and my friends who see me go all nuts about nutrition and are now asking me how to approach things and because I've read a lot, I'm able to help, but I'm not certified and I technically am not credentialed to give them advice, but I'd like to be. Also thought about being a personal trainer in fitness, but I do think I need to stick with publishing and editing as the main job since I love it so much but I REALLY have been enjoying the nutrition and fitness, so who knows. I just might do that.
Mary Kay is still going, but honestly, I've slowed down with it. I'm not saying I don't want it, and I'm not saying I won't eventually be a MK Director, because I do love helping to lead and mentor women, but right now, I'm not sure I'm ready to lead and mentor them in sales. But then again - I might be. But right now, with some craziness going on, I'm keeping it part-time.
I had a carrot with some spicy avocado hummus my amazing friend Megan made me the other night for a snack earlier and now Tim, my husband, is sitting in front of me eating Thin Mint ice cream for a snack... this is seriously frustrating because I haven't been able to exercise a lot because of my back, but I'm itching for good cardio, and even though I'm not hungry, that ice cream looks good, but everything I eat goes right to my stomach and then I complain about it - even though I am very thin and I do have good muscles; I just don't have the super cut abs I want because that's just my body type and genetics - but I still want some! Grarr.
Chicken's defrosting in the sink. Was going to make zucchini boats for dinner with quinoa but I think Tim would prefer chicken with zucchini, summer squash, and tomatoes chopped up instead, so that's probably what we're going to do, but I'll probably be making quinoa here tomorrow or Tuesday.
Anyhow. I've written in my book today, but that was the first day in TEN DAYS. I can't let that happen again. But with this new work schedule -- what else can I do before work? Except work on my body, work on my book, work on my publishing and editing, and BAM. There we go. Work on what I want to. :) I'm smiling, but it IS nerve-wracking.
Anyhow. I think it's finally time that I can go start dinner despite Tim's snacking on ice cream. Either that, or maybe we'll just have a salad for dinner and chicken tomorrow. I could do that too.
Who knows.
I want to go hang out with someone but broke as hell right now.
Life's still great.
PS.
Started another blog last month -- only has three minor entries so far -- about what I'm learning in publishing, as an effort to establish myself as a resource. I don't think I approached it right in the first couple posts, but here's hoping I'll figure it out.
Okay, I'm getting bored and scatterbrained and --- YOU KNOW WHAT? It's because I'm not able to exercise. It's what happens. Lordy.
Anyhow.
Night all :) Happy SUMMER!
Some updates: publishing job is going well! I'm still tweaking the art of finding leads without any assistance - it's a tricky thing, but I'm pushing through! - and the editing job is going well, but because it's freelance, it's sporadic, but still great when it happens! Hopefully, these two will become the forefront of my "profession" and I will be able to truly immerse myself in the industry of writing books and having them come to fruition!
My job at the doctor's office is going well but my hours are being cut again... I was originally working about 40-43 hours a week, and they were cut, and now, with the second cut, I will now be working (instead of 22.5 hours per week) 17.5 hours per week, and all in the afternoons instead of in the mornings. I was initially frustrated at this afternoon thing, because I really do enjoy getting off early, but I'm looking at it as a blessing in disguise to really have time in the mornings to master getting myself out there as a resource in the publishing and editing world, and then I'll go to work at the doctor's office, and when I get home, although it will be 530-6pm (...like a normal person, I suppose. But I like the flexibility of what I had before since I am so part-time), I will at least have the opportunity to train myself to still work in the morning and better those skills, ergo advancing myself and getting more leads for the publishing house and spending good time editing and exercising and writing my own book, and then when I DO get home from the doctor's office, at least all my responsibilities -- either self- or employer-imposed -- will be done and I don't have to worry about anything except eating dinner and enjoying time with the hubs. :) We'll see. I'm pretty worried about the financial portion of my cut hours, not so much the afternoon part, so I'm hoping I really can utilize these morning hours properly to boost my label out there and rock it so it doesn't matter that my hours were cut.
So I threw out my back on Tuesday (it's Sunday). I stretched the day I threw it, stretched Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, exercised P90X's Core Synergistics DVD on Saturday, and today, Sunday, I'll stretch it again later. My birthday is this coming Saturday and Friday night, we're going to PBR, and I REALLY want to get on the bull, so I have to treat my lower back with care. Here's hoping -- finger's crossed!
Nutrition is well. I'm eating well with an occasional treat every other day - sometimes every day - but it isn't too large. I've been eating fruit on an empty stomach, pretty much cutting out dairy as much as I possible can, eating animal protein only for dinner if I can help it, drinking a large glass of water right after I wake up, before each meal, right before bed, and then of course, whenever I'm thirsty throughout the day (I have always had a lot of water), eating a lot of veggies and fruits for snacks, and having half a plate full of veggies (eating them first) with meals, only eating whole grains and as many natural, fresh things as I can. I'm also trying to eat a bite or two of veggies/fruits prior to any meats or carbs because that'll keep my system more alkaline since animal meats and carbs are more acidic... I think. I don't remember, I only remember that it's good for you to do that, so I'm doing that. Trying to eat more plant protein. I'll never go all vegetarian, but hey, mostly vegetarian doesn't hurt. But I still eat chicken and turkey and fish, and hey - who doesn't love bacon?
Have seriously been contemplating on getting certified in Nutrition if only to help myself and my friends who see me go all nuts about nutrition and are now asking me how to approach things and because I've read a lot, I'm able to help, but I'm not certified and I technically am not credentialed to give them advice, but I'd like to be. Also thought about being a personal trainer in fitness, but I do think I need to stick with publishing and editing as the main job since I love it so much but I REALLY have been enjoying the nutrition and fitness, so who knows. I just might do that.
Mary Kay is still going, but honestly, I've slowed down with it. I'm not saying I don't want it, and I'm not saying I won't eventually be a MK Director, because I do love helping to lead and mentor women, but right now, I'm not sure I'm ready to lead and mentor them in sales. But then again - I might be. But right now, with some craziness going on, I'm keeping it part-time.
I had a carrot with some spicy avocado hummus my amazing friend Megan made me the other night for a snack earlier and now Tim, my husband, is sitting in front of me eating Thin Mint ice cream for a snack... this is seriously frustrating because I haven't been able to exercise a lot because of my back, but I'm itching for good cardio, and even though I'm not hungry, that ice cream looks good, but everything I eat goes right to my stomach and then I complain about it - even though I am very thin and I do have good muscles; I just don't have the super cut abs I want because that's just my body type and genetics - but I still want some! Grarr.
Chicken's defrosting in the sink. Was going to make zucchini boats for dinner with quinoa but I think Tim would prefer chicken with zucchini, summer squash, and tomatoes chopped up instead, so that's probably what we're going to do, but I'll probably be making quinoa here tomorrow or Tuesday.
Anyhow. I've written in my book today, but that was the first day in TEN DAYS. I can't let that happen again. But with this new work schedule -- what else can I do before work? Except work on my body, work on my book, work on my publishing and editing, and BAM. There we go. Work on what I want to. :) I'm smiling, but it IS nerve-wracking.
Anyhow. I think it's finally time that I can go start dinner despite Tim's snacking on ice cream. Either that, or maybe we'll just have a salad for dinner and chicken tomorrow. I could do that too.
Who knows.
I want to go hang out with someone but broke as hell right now.
Life's still great.
PS.
Started another blog last month -- only has three minor entries so far -- about what I'm learning in publishing, as an effort to establish myself as a resource. I don't think I approached it right in the first couple posts, but here's hoping I'll figure it out.
Okay, I'm getting bored and scatterbrained and --- YOU KNOW WHAT? It's because I'm not able to exercise. It's what happens. Lordy.
Anyhow.
Night all :) Happy SUMMER!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Publishing, Editing, Writing... oh my!
And persistance is awesome!
So I've got two new exciting things happening in life right now. *drum roll*
I now work in PUBLISHING *AND* EDITING! In the search for one position in a field I desire, I got TWO! I'm very excited to be working with Morgan James Publishing (which upon further review, research, and discussion with various people, seems to be a great company to work for! It is more a niche market, as not every author is best suited for Morgan James, but for those who are, it works very well from what I can tell so far, and everyone who works there is fantastic and sweet and so fun while also being hard-working!) as an Acquisitions Editor. I will be working with authors to help determine if Morgan James is the best publishing house for them, how they're different, better, etc, and how having had published a book will help make them money from a business standpoint. (Details will be fine-tuned as I go and learn. But I am EXTREMELY fortunate to have the staff ready and willing to help and coach me as I go. I'm a quick learner and can figure out some stuff on my own, but it's nice to know that I have folks to lean on until I can get on my own two feet.)
And will also be doing copy editing and manuscript review for Amanda Rooker Editing! I met with Amanda and she is a fabulous woman and her company works closely with Morgan James as well as with other authors, etc, but both David Hancock, the founder of Morgan James, and Amanda Rooker share the desire to help the authors make their book a reality and to stay true to what the author's intentions and desires are and there is so much that I like about both of these companies. I feel very fortunate to be able to work with both of them.
:D
So needless to stay, I am simply STOKED right now!!
On top of that, I still work with the Oyster Pointer and Sylvia Weinstein, as a freelance journalist writing feature articles for them monthly, and I will still keep my patient services coordinator position at Cornerstone Private Practice, and of course, I will continue pursuing a successful business as an independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay.
Ladies and gents... can you count? That's five... yes, (5) [<-- for you people who need a numeric symbol to get the point] FIVE jobs!!
Needless to say, they are all part-time, but together I've become a busy girl! But it's great because when I'm busy (not rushed, but busy), I become very productive! So I've already received my first editing assignment and have been working on it today and am going to try to bust it out over the weekend, have had good days in Mary Kay (have often, but is more so now that I don't have time to talk myself out of doing something!), am working regularly, of course, at Cornerstone, and haven't yet started raking in the authors for Morgan James, but that is only because I'm still getting set-up and there are a few preliminary things I need to figure out so when I do reach out, I am well-rounded in the information so I can be the most effective, honest, and genuine, while being helpful and successful!
So life had gone from utterly what-in-the-bloody-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life to having five jobs, three of which are in the writing field, which I have always wanted to work. WOOP!
AND, I'm still managing to write my book (is a priority. I will not not write my book!), and still waking at the butt-crack of dawn to make sure I exercise 5-6 (usually six) days a week!
Let's pray I can juggle it well. I'm pretty sure I can. It'll just be an adjustment, because I adjusted to being very not-busy and now I need to adjust back. But it's good. I'm happy. :D
And I'm also very tired. But I just HAD to tell you all the exciting news!!
I'll keep you posted as life goes on, of course.
Oh -- did you know it's snowing in some parts of Virginia? WTF, MOTHER NATURE?! It's supposed to be SPRING!
Lordy, can't wait until steady warm weather.
Oh look! My Kota is continually rolling and ritching (sp??) around on the ground for my attention. I must obey.
Good night all!
XOXO!!
Jessica
So I've got two new exciting things happening in life right now. *drum roll*
I now work in PUBLISHING *AND* EDITING! In the search for one position in a field I desire, I got TWO! I'm very excited to be working with Morgan James Publishing (which upon further review, research, and discussion with various people, seems to be a great company to work for! It is more a niche market, as not every author is best suited for Morgan James, but for those who are, it works very well from what I can tell so far, and everyone who works there is fantastic and sweet and so fun while also being hard-working!) as an Acquisitions Editor. I will be working with authors to help determine if Morgan James is the best publishing house for them, how they're different, better, etc, and how having had published a book will help make them money from a business standpoint. (Details will be fine-tuned as I go and learn. But I am EXTREMELY fortunate to have the staff ready and willing to help and coach me as I go. I'm a quick learner and can figure out some stuff on my own, but it's nice to know that I have folks to lean on until I can get on my own two feet.)
And will also be doing copy editing and manuscript review for Amanda Rooker Editing! I met with Amanda and she is a fabulous woman and her company works closely with Morgan James as well as with other authors, etc, but both David Hancock, the founder of Morgan James, and Amanda Rooker share the desire to help the authors make their book a reality and to stay true to what the author's intentions and desires are and there is so much that I like about both of these companies. I feel very fortunate to be able to work with both of them.
:D
So needless to stay, I am simply STOKED right now!!
On top of that, I still work with the Oyster Pointer and Sylvia Weinstein, as a freelance journalist writing feature articles for them monthly, and I will still keep my patient services coordinator position at Cornerstone Private Practice, and of course, I will continue pursuing a successful business as an independent beauty consultant with Mary Kay.
Ladies and gents... can you count? That's five... yes, (5) [<-- for you people who need a numeric symbol to get the point] FIVE jobs!!
Needless to say, they are all part-time, but together I've become a busy girl! But it's great because when I'm busy (not rushed, but busy), I become very productive! So I've already received my first editing assignment and have been working on it today and am going to try to bust it out over the weekend, have had good days in Mary Kay (have often, but is more so now that I don't have time to talk myself out of doing something!), am working regularly, of course, at Cornerstone, and haven't yet started raking in the authors for Morgan James, but that is only because I'm still getting set-up and there are a few preliminary things I need to figure out so when I do reach out, I am well-rounded in the information so I can be the most effective, honest, and genuine, while being helpful and successful!
So life had gone from utterly what-in-the-bloody-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life to having five jobs, three of which are in the writing field, which I have always wanted to work. WOOP!
AND, I'm still managing to write my book (is a priority. I will not not write my book!), and still waking at the butt-crack of dawn to make sure I exercise 5-6 (usually six) days a week!
Let's pray I can juggle it well. I'm pretty sure I can. It'll just be an adjustment, because I adjusted to being very not-busy and now I need to adjust back. But it's good. I'm happy. :D
And I'm also very tired. But I just HAD to tell you all the exciting news!!
I'll keep you posted as life goes on, of course.
Oh -- did you know it's snowing in some parts of Virginia? WTF, MOTHER NATURE?! It's supposed to be SPRING!
Lordy, can't wait until steady warm weather.
Oh look! My Kota is continually rolling and ritching (sp??) around on the ground for my attention. I must obey.
Good night all!
XOXO!!
Jessica
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Cougar Town...or whatever the title should be.
I love that show. Stupid show. I like to think of me and Tim as Ellie and Andy, 'cause we're epic like that.
Book is getting a bit harder to write because a major turning point is in the process of being written and that means I have too much in my head for my fingers to keep up with and so oftentimes, whatever comes out isn't great and I try not to edit while I go (ahem -- strongly recommended for other writers out there, as I can honestly say that not editing while I go is how I've written so much and gotten so far!), but it's feeling so all-over-the-place that it's hard to ignore. I'm managing. Didn't write at ALL yesterday though, and today I've only written half a page... although it's only 830pm, so I have time... but I'm getting sleepy, and I could be writing my book instead of my blog, and I'll be doing life with my MK director Whitney tomorrow evening so I don't know if I'll have time to write tomorrow... which makes me frustrated and it's not even tomorrow yet, so maybe I should shut up and finish the page of my book.
AND -- I'll bring my laptop to work tomorrow and write during lunch. Yeeeuh, buddy.
Kota is next to me. My writing, laptop kitty. Love her!
Currently struggling to breathe through my nose. I'm not a mouth-breather. I hate the feeling of the air against my tongue, drying my lips. But with spring SUPPOSEDLY coming around the corner, hay fever is due to act up, AND I've managed to get a little bit of a sinus infection. I don't really get sick. Truly, I don't. Mind over matter!! If you honestly believe something, that is what comes true, unless it defies physics! And I go years without getting sick, but when I do, it's usually something like this. The last three nights, I've slept horribly and two nights ago, I could barely sleep not for having to breathe through my mouth, but the PRESSURE. Oy. But pressure is almost all gone now and I'm now doing the "Oh, crap, got to go blow my nose right NOW," thing (so fun).
Virginia still needs to make up its mind regarding spring. I miss summer and I'm ready for nice days again. Crapola -- Tim just opened the window. It isn't cold, but now Kota is staring at it, and I can tell she wants to sit there instead of next to me. Don't go, Kota!
Nearing the end of week two in P90X routine. Seriously missing the hard-ass cardio Insanity gives you, but I'm going to ride out P90X and see how my body responds and if it tones the way I want it to. If it doesn't, I'm going back to what I was doing, or at least, I'll do the P90X routine, but I'll do the Insanity routine too, going Day 1 P90X, then the next day do Day 1 Insanity, and then the next Day 2 P90X, and then the next... etc. I don't know how that'd go, but I think I'd like it.
Decided I want to get my quillpen tattoo, but still undecided about whether or not it'll be on my ankle or side of my back or thigh.
Am in need of a haircut and have entertained the idea of doing something different with it, but usually when I do something different with it, I don't like it and then want it back the way it was because already now that I do makeup every day, I've addded 20minutes to my routine and I don't want to add another 20minutes to play with my hair... But I do LIKE the idea... but action, hah, well that's another story.
And I'm getting sleepier. Kota's still beside me. Yay. It makes me happy, but now I'm stuck until she moves.
....I'm running out of things to say. Goodnight. Here's hoping the next installment will be epically awesome. ;)
Xo,
Jessica
Book is getting a bit harder to write because a major turning point is in the process of being written and that means I have too much in my head for my fingers to keep up with and so oftentimes, whatever comes out isn't great and I try not to edit while I go (ahem -- strongly recommended for other writers out there, as I can honestly say that not editing while I go is how I've written so much and gotten so far!), but it's feeling so all-over-the-place that it's hard to ignore. I'm managing. Didn't write at ALL yesterday though, and today I've only written half a page... although it's only 830pm, so I have time... but I'm getting sleepy, and I could be writing my book instead of my blog, and I'll be doing life with my MK director Whitney tomorrow evening so I don't know if I'll have time to write tomorrow... which makes me frustrated and it's not even tomorrow yet, so maybe I should shut up and finish the page of my book.
AND -- I'll bring my laptop to work tomorrow and write during lunch. Yeeeuh, buddy.
Kota is next to me. My writing, laptop kitty. Love her!
Currently struggling to breathe through my nose. I'm not a mouth-breather. I hate the feeling of the air against my tongue, drying my lips. But with spring SUPPOSEDLY coming around the corner, hay fever is due to act up, AND I've managed to get a little bit of a sinus infection. I don't really get sick. Truly, I don't. Mind over matter!! If you honestly believe something, that is what comes true, unless it defies physics! And I go years without getting sick, but when I do, it's usually something like this. The last three nights, I've slept horribly and two nights ago, I could barely sleep not for having to breathe through my mouth, but the PRESSURE. Oy. But pressure is almost all gone now and I'm now doing the "Oh, crap, got to go blow my nose right NOW," thing (so fun).
Virginia still needs to make up its mind regarding spring. I miss summer and I'm ready for nice days again. Crapola -- Tim just opened the window. It isn't cold, but now Kota is staring at it, and I can tell she wants to sit there instead of next to me. Don't go, Kota!
Nearing the end of week two in P90X routine. Seriously missing the hard-ass cardio Insanity gives you, but I'm going to ride out P90X and see how my body responds and if it tones the way I want it to. If it doesn't, I'm going back to what I was doing, or at least, I'll do the P90X routine, but I'll do the Insanity routine too, going Day 1 P90X, then the next day do Day 1 Insanity, and then the next Day 2 P90X, and then the next... etc. I don't know how that'd go, but I think I'd like it.
Decided I want to get my quillpen tattoo, but still undecided about whether or not it'll be on my ankle or side of my back or thigh.
Am in need of a haircut and have entertained the idea of doing something different with it, but usually when I do something different with it, I don't like it and then want it back the way it was because already now that I do makeup every day, I've addded 20minutes to my routine and I don't want to add another 20minutes to play with my hair... But I do LIKE the idea... but action, hah, well that's another story.
And I'm getting sleepier. Kota's still beside me. Yay. It makes me happy, but now I'm stuck until she moves.
....I'm running out of things to say. Goodnight. Here's hoping the next installment will be epically awesome. ;)
Xo,
Jessica
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Lost. No, not the epic show, unfortunately.
Okay so it turns out that I still don't know what I want to do with my life or where I want to go, and frankly, I'm finding this very frustrating because I am unconsciously/subconsciously holding back from jumping full-force into my work (whatever it is) because I keep feeling like I don't want to lose myself to someone else.
Mary Kay has taught me that if you don't chase your own dreams, you'll spend your life working and helping someone chase theirs. But as wise a phrase as that is, I'm finding myself seriously ... frozen, if you will, because I am almost afraid to jump into work (and that is how I define myself -- a very hard-working woman who loves to enthrall herself in her work) because I'm afraid I'm spending my time chasing someone else's dream (even though I've always thrived on working hard for someone else -- whether or not it makes sense... I'm a helper and I love to help) but then I get home and yes, I'll write my book, which I've drafting a super rough, not-really-an-outline outline so I can keep my thoughts together because it's actually going somewhere -- meaning, it's getting more difficult to write, but still interesting and exciting -- but it's almost like I've gotten frozen in MK and frozen at work -- but really, did I get frozen at work, because if I could work full-time and not worry about finances, I'd probably be more entralled than I am, but at the time... I need to pause, because this is turning into a confusing run-on sentence.
Sigh. Okay, so that's kind of where I am. I need to find somewhere that I don't have to worry about finances so I can enjoy work and then, when I'm off work, I can actually be off work. But I have the Mary Kay! Just bust that out and then become a director and it doesn't matter what I do. But there's a lot I have to say which is hard to put into words and some of which I shouldn't. I love the people in Mary Kay but I'm trying to figure myself out. Do I enjoy being the bossman (bosswoman) who makes ALL the decisions? I'm not sure I do. I think I enjoy being a PARTNER in the decision-making. Meaning, if I was on a team with someone and we did our work and had to collaborate, and sometimes the other person would make the decision and then sometimes I would make the decision, but we would be able to discuss it with others or something like that, that I may enjoy it more. Maybe I'm so roped into the working for someone thing that despite I've been in this thing for 1.5yrs, I'm still strugging with myself about working and deciding -- even though, mind you, I have made my schedule and have decided to stick with it as best as I can so I don't have to think about it when I'm done with it.
But Tim and I were talking about something unrelated and I think it's safe to say that I am bored. I'm bored. Which is weird, 'cause I was kind of bored at Sushi Aka, but not really. It was the same shit every day: open, bus, clean, serve people, close. But it just felt... different. I knew it wasn't my forever job, but I'd worked there for 5years and if it was still open, I'm quite certain I'd still be working there and before it closed, the idea of working there didn't bother me. I had dropped down to a day or two a week, not regular hours, but still. I enjoyed being a part of it and didn't overanalyze. Something has happened to me in the last couple years, and now I overanalyze practically everything. I can't jump into anything it seems without thinking too much about it. Oh it's simple, stop thinking. No, not so easy. Easily said, not easily done.
Some facts:
I LOVE writing my book and love that I'm actually working on it and it's going somewhere and the phrase, "I write," and "I'm a writer," are legit. They've been legit, but now I write daily, so they're, like, REALLY legit. I love it. This is me, without having to overanalyze.
I love exercising. I love being fit and I love eating well. This is a fact. I enjoy liking and craving healthy foods and I enjoy being able to do what I can with my body because of my exercise. Bascially, this can be summed up in one word: health. I enjoy being healthy and actively working to maintain my health. It's wonderful and makes me feel good, emotionally and physically. No overanalyzing here.
I love doing things, going on adventures, actually using my brain for things. I enjoy it. This is a fact. I enjoy learning, but often when I'm bored, for whever reason, I don't tend to pick up an academic book even though I can always find something to fill my time.
Side note -- this is actually awesome. I signed up for the TOUGH MUDDER on Sat, June 8th, first wave, in VABeach. I'm super stoked. Check it out -- www.toughmudder.com -- eee I'm going to totally be dragging after!! But I'll get a headband, t-shirt, and a beer, hahaha. It's going to rock!!
But yes, things like the above, like skydiving, like going out and having fun with friends. I enjoy doing these things. Fact.
Everything else... ummm. Either my discipline has waned (which I am disciplined in areas I want to be, so maybe it's just the overanalyzing and lack of the ability to make some decisions...clearly...) and I need to kick it up, or I need to find somewhere to work that makes me feel like I'm a part of a team, which GUARANTEES payment (finances really are maybe the reason I'm freaking out... we're so broke it isn't funny right now. =[ ) and then I think I'll be free to enjoy and figure the rest of me out.
But what am I going to DO?! I have recently been speaking with someone about working for them in publishing. I LOVE this!! But some reviews have shown that people who work for them aren't too happy always, but no one is always happy, and the reviews are a couple years old, but they're a POD and I'm not sure exactly what I'd be doing. They don't have employees, they have contractors, but besides things like acquisitions editors (which find authors for the company), all other positions are paid about $10+/hr depending on the position... but I don't know if it's guaranteed a certain number of hours and I've had some friends and family do research and they aren't finding tooooo many great things either and so now I'm like... shit. I loved the idea and now, as of yesterday, I don't know if I should be a part of it. SHIT! I'm going to go to a staff meeting and talk to people and I've met with the CEO and founder, etc, but the work almost seems similiar to MK, and although that would help transition between this and MK, I'm looking for something a little different than MK because I already have something like MK -- I have MK!!
So.. I still LOVE the idea of working in publishing and editing. Seriously and truly and I would love to work for a book publisher. But as I'm doing research about publishing, I'm not so sure I want to work for a POD. Oooyyyy. This is crap. Am I ever going to use my degree and am I ever going to find a position and a job which I enjoy and can do and really enjoy my life? Don't get my wrong -- I'm not not enjoying my life. But obviously I'm lost here. I'm 24, almost 25, and although that's young, I really am feeling like my time to find somewhere to really become a part of it is waning!
Where do I go, what do I do, and damn damn damn damn damn. That's all I can really say right now. I don't want to end up without retirement. I don't want to end up broke forever when it comes time to have a kid. I want to be able to afford a house. I want to be able to live near (really... I really do want to live near my family. Either that, or my sister at least...) those I love or at least visit them often and, and, and. I think I know what I want, but I don't know how to get there.
Maybe I feel like what we're all doing is petty. But even working in restaurants is petty. But for some reason the relationships are different. Or maybe I need to find somewhere where I can be REAL. Where I can be ME. Where we are positive, uplifiting people, but at the same time, it's OKAY to bitch for a second. It's okay to tease the shit out of people and develop that family, love-you-hate-you type of relationships that really are genuine (if you don't get it, whatev, but Karyn and Britt, and Mike, and Megan, and Nicole.. you all should get it). I need a place where I am surrounded by people like that but I can actually work hard. I was told by a former boss to pretend like this company is yours and do what you'd do for it. So that's how I work. But why then, am I having a harder time (although I am actually working) doing it in my own business? Perhaps, I enjoy, like truly enjoy, helping people chase their dreams and I feel like working part-time, I'm not able to help with that at Cornerstone, but I feel selfish in the Mary Kay, or I feel lost because I still haven't learned enough about publishing to know if the company (Morgan James Publishing) is doing something I'll believe in or not.
I've entertained the idea about doing a magazine monthly thingy. Get people to help fill it and mail it out for cheap to friends and family? I've thought about doing something like this for a while. Maybe I can try to collaborate with friends and start that. Oh but it won't pay money really, so I still need to work.
Ideally... I just need more money. I am having a major bitchfest right now and I'm not even sure if I want to post this or if it's worth it or if I just needed to write this but I should delete it.
This sucks. OH! You know what I really would love to do? Move to Oklahoma (Tim, I really do want to, even though I want to stay with friends too, har) and work at my step mother's shop. I would LOVE to help my Kelly out with her shop.
But that's not a job. That's a hobby. For me anyway. It's her retirement and it's going AWESOME.
So what the heck do I doooooo? Where do I go from here? It's decision time and I'm trying to decide! I'm working harder in my Mary Kay, I'm working hard at Cornerstone when I'm there, but I still feel lost. I still feel... so lost... and only half full. I'm really missing being a part of something together with a few people, for more than a year. For more than 2 years. To be a parrrrtttt of something.
So what do I find and where do I go? Karyn, let's open a restaurant together. HAHA. I don't know if I'd like that. But it'd sure be awesome I think. ... maybe. I don't really want to do that. But I work well with her and I know I'd have that relationship that's genuine but yet you can still work hard. Why can't most places be like that?
Lord in Heaven, please help me. I do need You now.
Sigh. My life is truly wonderful and I have wonderful people and things in it. But my purpose..... my purpose is missing right now, and this is very important for me to have and feel strong and whole and good about myself.
Grar. I don't know how to end this post, but feel free to leave suggestions in the comments if you want to. No, "let's have pity-parties." I know others are where I am too, but I don't want to discuss where we aren't. I just did that. I want help and assistance. Advice.
Fuck. *shakes head*
~Jessica
Mary Kay has taught me that if you don't chase your own dreams, you'll spend your life working and helping someone chase theirs. But as wise a phrase as that is, I'm finding myself seriously ... frozen, if you will, because I am almost afraid to jump into work (and that is how I define myself -- a very hard-working woman who loves to enthrall herself in her work) because I'm afraid I'm spending my time chasing someone else's dream (even though I've always thrived on working hard for someone else -- whether or not it makes sense... I'm a helper and I love to help) but then I get home and yes, I'll write my book, which I've drafting a super rough, not-really-an-outline outline so I can keep my thoughts together because it's actually going somewhere -- meaning, it's getting more difficult to write, but still interesting and exciting -- but it's almost like I've gotten frozen in MK and frozen at work -- but really, did I get frozen at work, because if I could work full-time and not worry about finances, I'd probably be more entralled than I am, but at the time... I need to pause, because this is turning into a confusing run-on sentence.
Sigh. Okay, so that's kind of where I am. I need to find somewhere that I don't have to worry about finances so I can enjoy work and then, when I'm off work, I can actually be off work. But I have the Mary Kay! Just bust that out and then become a director and it doesn't matter what I do. But there's a lot I have to say which is hard to put into words and some of which I shouldn't. I love the people in Mary Kay but I'm trying to figure myself out. Do I enjoy being the bossman (bosswoman) who makes ALL the decisions? I'm not sure I do. I think I enjoy being a PARTNER in the decision-making. Meaning, if I was on a team with someone and we did our work and had to collaborate, and sometimes the other person would make the decision and then sometimes I would make the decision, but we would be able to discuss it with others or something like that, that I may enjoy it more. Maybe I'm so roped into the working for someone thing that despite I've been in this thing for 1.5yrs, I'm still strugging with myself about working and deciding -- even though, mind you, I have made my schedule and have decided to stick with it as best as I can so I don't have to think about it when I'm done with it.
But Tim and I were talking about something unrelated and I think it's safe to say that I am bored. I'm bored. Which is weird, 'cause I was kind of bored at Sushi Aka, but not really. It was the same shit every day: open, bus, clean, serve people, close. But it just felt... different. I knew it wasn't my forever job, but I'd worked there for 5years and if it was still open, I'm quite certain I'd still be working there and before it closed, the idea of working there didn't bother me. I had dropped down to a day or two a week, not regular hours, but still. I enjoyed being a part of it and didn't overanalyze. Something has happened to me in the last couple years, and now I overanalyze practically everything. I can't jump into anything it seems without thinking too much about it. Oh it's simple, stop thinking. No, not so easy. Easily said, not easily done.
Some facts:
I LOVE writing my book and love that I'm actually working on it and it's going somewhere and the phrase, "I write," and "I'm a writer," are legit. They've been legit, but now I write daily, so they're, like, REALLY legit. I love it. This is me, without having to overanalyze.
I love exercising. I love being fit and I love eating well. This is a fact. I enjoy liking and craving healthy foods and I enjoy being able to do what I can with my body because of my exercise. Bascially, this can be summed up in one word: health. I enjoy being healthy and actively working to maintain my health. It's wonderful and makes me feel good, emotionally and physically. No overanalyzing here.
I love doing things, going on adventures, actually using my brain for things. I enjoy it. This is a fact. I enjoy learning, but often when I'm bored, for whever reason, I don't tend to pick up an academic book even though I can always find something to fill my time.
Side note -- this is actually awesome. I signed up for the TOUGH MUDDER on Sat, June 8th, first wave, in VABeach. I'm super stoked. Check it out -- www.toughmudder.com -- eee I'm going to totally be dragging after!! But I'll get a headband, t-shirt, and a beer, hahaha. It's going to rock!!
But yes, things like the above, like skydiving, like going out and having fun with friends. I enjoy doing these things. Fact.
Everything else... ummm. Either my discipline has waned (which I am disciplined in areas I want to be, so maybe it's just the overanalyzing and lack of the ability to make some decisions...clearly...) and I need to kick it up, or I need to find somewhere to work that makes me feel like I'm a part of a team, which GUARANTEES payment (finances really are maybe the reason I'm freaking out... we're so broke it isn't funny right now. =[ ) and then I think I'll be free to enjoy and figure the rest of me out.
But what am I going to DO?! I have recently been speaking with someone about working for them in publishing. I LOVE this!! But some reviews have shown that people who work for them aren't too happy always, but no one is always happy, and the reviews are a couple years old, but they're a POD and I'm not sure exactly what I'd be doing. They don't have employees, they have contractors, but besides things like acquisitions editors (which find authors for the company), all other positions are paid about $10+/hr depending on the position... but I don't know if it's guaranteed a certain number of hours and I've had some friends and family do research and they aren't finding tooooo many great things either and so now I'm like... shit. I loved the idea and now, as of yesterday, I don't know if I should be a part of it. SHIT! I'm going to go to a staff meeting and talk to people and I've met with the CEO and founder, etc, but the work almost seems similiar to MK, and although that would help transition between this and MK, I'm looking for something a little different than MK because I already have something like MK -- I have MK!!
So.. I still LOVE the idea of working in publishing and editing. Seriously and truly and I would love to work for a book publisher. But as I'm doing research about publishing, I'm not so sure I want to work for a POD. Oooyyyy. This is crap. Am I ever going to use my degree and am I ever going to find a position and a job which I enjoy and can do and really enjoy my life? Don't get my wrong -- I'm not not enjoying my life. But obviously I'm lost here. I'm 24, almost 25, and although that's young, I really am feeling like my time to find somewhere to really become a part of it is waning!
Where do I go, what do I do, and damn damn damn damn damn. That's all I can really say right now. I don't want to end up without retirement. I don't want to end up broke forever when it comes time to have a kid. I want to be able to afford a house. I want to be able to live near (really... I really do want to live near my family. Either that, or my sister at least...) those I love or at least visit them often and, and, and. I think I know what I want, but I don't know how to get there.
Maybe I feel like what we're all doing is petty. But even working in restaurants is petty. But for some reason the relationships are different. Or maybe I need to find somewhere where I can be REAL. Where I can be ME. Where we are positive, uplifiting people, but at the same time, it's OKAY to bitch for a second. It's okay to tease the shit out of people and develop that family, love-you-hate-you type of relationships that really are genuine (if you don't get it, whatev, but Karyn and Britt, and Mike, and Megan, and Nicole.. you all should get it). I need a place where I am surrounded by people like that but I can actually work hard. I was told by a former boss to pretend like this company is yours and do what you'd do for it. So that's how I work. But why then, am I having a harder time (although I am actually working) doing it in my own business? Perhaps, I enjoy, like truly enjoy, helping people chase their dreams and I feel like working part-time, I'm not able to help with that at Cornerstone, but I feel selfish in the Mary Kay, or I feel lost because I still haven't learned enough about publishing to know if the company (Morgan James Publishing) is doing something I'll believe in or not.
I've entertained the idea about doing a magazine monthly thingy. Get people to help fill it and mail it out for cheap to friends and family? I've thought about doing something like this for a while. Maybe I can try to collaborate with friends and start that. Oh but it won't pay money really, so I still need to work.
Ideally... I just need more money. I am having a major bitchfest right now and I'm not even sure if I want to post this or if it's worth it or if I just needed to write this but I should delete it.
This sucks. OH! You know what I really would love to do? Move to Oklahoma (Tim, I really do want to, even though I want to stay with friends too, har) and work at my step mother's shop. I would LOVE to help my Kelly out with her shop.
But that's not a job. That's a hobby. For me anyway. It's her retirement and it's going AWESOME.
So what the heck do I doooooo? Where do I go from here? It's decision time and I'm trying to decide! I'm working harder in my Mary Kay, I'm working hard at Cornerstone when I'm there, but I still feel lost. I still feel... so lost... and only half full. I'm really missing being a part of something together with a few people, for more than a year. For more than 2 years. To be a parrrrtttt of something.
So what do I find and where do I go? Karyn, let's open a restaurant together. HAHA. I don't know if I'd like that. But it'd sure be awesome I think. ... maybe. I don't really want to do that. But I work well with her and I know I'd have that relationship that's genuine but yet you can still work hard. Why can't most places be like that?
Lord in Heaven, please help me. I do need You now.
Sigh. My life is truly wonderful and I have wonderful people and things in it. But my purpose..... my purpose is missing right now, and this is very important for me to have and feel strong and whole and good about myself.
Grar. I don't know how to end this post, but feel free to leave suggestions in the comments if you want to. No, "let's have pity-parties." I know others are where I am too, but I don't want to discuss where we aren't. I just did that. I want help and assistance. Advice.
Fuck. *shakes head*
~Jessica
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Into the Unknown
Finally, after 40 pages, my characters are about to head off on their adventure. I'm not sure where they're going, and as such, they don't even know where they're going. All I have them talking about is, "going East." And then someone asks, "Why East?" And then someone else answers, "No fucking clue, but so-and-so said so and because of this-and-that, we have to go, else blah-blah may happen." Or something like that.
Went to Walmart and bought too many things, practically depleting my checking account with additional groceries, a Cosmo magazine (every girl has a right to rot her brain occasionally), and two small spiral-bound things of index cards. One I am thinking about make my own color cards for Mary Kay skin care classes, and the other, I started using as a way to keep track of all my characters, where they've been, the places, cities, where they went to first, where they're going to next... and it's amazing how complicated things can get in 40 pages! And to think my book is only just now beginning! This is going to be one epic novel, but thank God I started writing some of this crap down because there's no way I'd remember all that stuff and all those people... As I'm writing, I'm realizing I forgot a place. Hold on.
(...)
Alrighty, just learned about some other loose ends I forgot.
I think it'd be wise for me to jot things down as I go and not worry so much about tying up every loose end until I rewrite. Yep, sounds good. All I know is that I'm certainly not going to re-read anything I wrote until I'm done! I turn into an editor and not a writer and then it's hard to carry on, so... we'll see how well I book when I'm done with it.
Okay, so again, I have no idea where it's going. Well I have an idea. But it's a little, teeny, minuscule one that is still really fuzzy. But I'm headed there. The character's are still in the process of being fleshed out, and they haven't started making their own decisions yet, but it's coming and coming quickly. Well. There was once or twice one of the character's got out of line. Now I have that shit to deal with and make part of the story. Why must they be so obstinate?! If you've ever written a story or a book, you'll understand -- your characters DON'T listen to you! You just give them scenarios and then they take it from there, the damned bastards.
Oh, but they're so fun.
So needless to say, I'm excited! I can't wait to see where my book is going to go and how my characters are going to grow and what I'm going to learn about them. It's just as addicting as watching a cool show, finishing an episode, and wanting to watch more.
However... you do reach those times where you stare at the blank page with the blinking cursor, internally screaming at yourself to write a word -- JUST A WORD -- and you find that even writing the word "And," or "Then," or whatever starter word you want to use is super difficult because all of a sudden... no, it's not writer's block y'all. It's worse. It's the part of the book where you don't know really what to write not because you're out of ideas, but because THIS PART is one of the IMPORTANT parts of the book. And you didn't know you were right there, you didn't know that the day before/the paragraph before was the precursor to this potential turning point in your novel, the time where things are going to start happening, characters are going to change, and the plot line is going to progress. There's NO WARNING for these things!
I've been dealing with this stuff for the last 2-3 days. Took me 1.5hours yesterday to write two pages because I had to be careful. Lord knows what I write determines the direction of the rest of my novel. Got to make sure I don't steer it in the wrong direction, even though I still don't really know which direction it's going, so it's hard to make a wrong choice -- or so you'd think. It's very easy to make the wrong decision when deciding an unforseen plot line. Tricky, tricky.
Sigh. This really is a wonderful process though. Truly. I'm loving it. Although I'm at the part where they actually have to start doing stuff now and now it's about to get tricky and the plot line is going to start going forward. Buildup is done. Time to start doing things. And all I want to say -- is crap. ;)
Outside the world of my novel, Tim and I have agreed to move but it won't be for a couple years because we want to save up. Still don't know where we're moving, but we're going to be searching for jobs here in the 757 as well as elsewhere in the country. He's actually talking to some Australian mosquito people (he works in mosquito control, for those of you who don't know) about doing a swap, where he goes there for a few months and they send someone here. I'd love that, although I'm scared of my kittles and them being freaked the fuck out on a plane for 20 hours and then 6 months later, do it all over again. Eeeeehhh, not so keen on that. If I can keep Kota and Jynx as our personal items (maybe?) then fine. Otherwise... nope. But that is still just a mention in a passing. We don't know if it'll go anywhere, but we do agree to move in the near future.
I originally intended to write this thing 2-3 times a week. Looks like that ain't happenin'! Once a week is fine for me. Good for you? I'm glad we can agree.
Went to Gordon Bierch last night. Delicious. Got me a hummus and goat cheese salad which was amazing, so I got some hummus, pita bread, and some goat and feta cheese at Wally World earlier. Might make me some now.
Got a neat Swiffer duster too. I think I'll actually not mind keeping my home dust-free (as much as possible without going all OCD) without complaining.
Tim got me into The Game of Thrones and his wonderful cousin is letting us use his HBO GO to watch it. Not a huge TV watcher, but man when I like a show, it sucks away my life until either the season is over or until I've reach a point where I'm all caught up and I have to wait a week for the next episode. Other than that, TV can bite me.
Annnd, that's all folks.
Ciao.
~Jessica
Went to Walmart and bought too many things, practically depleting my checking account with additional groceries, a Cosmo magazine (every girl has a right to rot her brain occasionally), and two small spiral-bound things of index cards. One I am thinking about make my own color cards for Mary Kay skin care classes, and the other, I started using as a way to keep track of all my characters, where they've been, the places, cities, where they went to first, where they're going to next... and it's amazing how complicated things can get in 40 pages! And to think my book is only just now beginning! This is going to be one epic novel, but thank God I started writing some of this crap down because there's no way I'd remember all that stuff and all those people... As I'm writing, I'm realizing I forgot a place. Hold on.
(...)
Alrighty, just learned about some other loose ends I forgot.
I think it'd be wise for me to jot things down as I go and not worry so much about tying up every loose end until I rewrite. Yep, sounds good. All I know is that I'm certainly not going to re-read anything I wrote until I'm done! I turn into an editor and not a writer and then it's hard to carry on, so... we'll see how well I book when I'm done with it.
Okay, so again, I have no idea where it's going. Well I have an idea. But it's a little, teeny, minuscule one that is still really fuzzy. But I'm headed there. The character's are still in the process of being fleshed out, and they haven't started making their own decisions yet, but it's coming and coming quickly. Well. There was once or twice one of the character's got out of line. Now I have that shit to deal with and make part of the story. Why must they be so obstinate?! If you've ever written a story or a book, you'll understand -- your characters DON'T listen to you! You just give them scenarios and then they take it from there, the damned bastards.
Oh, but they're so fun.
So needless to say, I'm excited! I can't wait to see where my book is going to go and how my characters are going to grow and what I'm going to learn about them. It's just as addicting as watching a cool show, finishing an episode, and wanting to watch more.
However... you do reach those times where you stare at the blank page with the blinking cursor, internally screaming at yourself to write a word -- JUST A WORD -- and you find that even writing the word "And," or "Then," or whatever starter word you want to use is super difficult because all of a sudden... no, it's not writer's block y'all. It's worse. It's the part of the book where you don't know really what to write not because you're out of ideas, but because THIS PART is one of the IMPORTANT parts of the book. And you didn't know you were right there, you didn't know that the day before/the paragraph before was the precursor to this potential turning point in your novel, the time where things are going to start happening, characters are going to change, and the plot line is going to progress. There's NO WARNING for these things!
I've been dealing with this stuff for the last 2-3 days. Took me 1.5hours yesterday to write two pages because I had to be careful. Lord knows what I write determines the direction of the rest of my novel. Got to make sure I don't steer it in the wrong direction, even though I still don't really know which direction it's going, so it's hard to make a wrong choice -- or so you'd think. It's very easy to make the wrong decision when deciding an unforseen plot line. Tricky, tricky.
Sigh. This really is a wonderful process though. Truly. I'm loving it. Although I'm at the part where they actually have to start doing stuff now and now it's about to get tricky and the plot line is going to start going forward. Buildup is done. Time to start doing things. And all I want to say -- is crap. ;)
Outside the world of my novel, Tim and I have agreed to move but it won't be for a couple years because we want to save up. Still don't know where we're moving, but we're going to be searching for jobs here in the 757 as well as elsewhere in the country. He's actually talking to some Australian mosquito people (he works in mosquito control, for those of you who don't know) about doing a swap, where he goes there for a few months and they send someone here. I'd love that, although I'm scared of my kittles and them being freaked the fuck out on a plane for 20 hours and then 6 months later, do it all over again. Eeeeehhh, not so keen on that. If I can keep Kota and Jynx as our personal items (maybe?) then fine. Otherwise... nope. But that is still just a mention in a passing. We don't know if it'll go anywhere, but we do agree to move in the near future.
I originally intended to write this thing 2-3 times a week. Looks like that ain't happenin'! Once a week is fine for me. Good for you? I'm glad we can agree.
Went to Gordon Bierch last night. Delicious. Got me a hummus and goat cheese salad which was amazing, so I got some hummus, pita bread, and some goat and feta cheese at Wally World earlier. Might make me some now.
Got a neat Swiffer duster too. I think I'll actually not mind keeping my home dust-free (as much as possible without going all OCD) without complaining.
Tim got me into The Game of Thrones and his wonderful cousin is letting us use his HBO GO to watch it. Not a huge TV watcher, but man when I like a show, it sucks away my life until either the season is over or until I've reach a point where I'm all caught up and I have to wait a week for the next episode. Other than that, TV can bite me.
Annnd, that's all folks.
Ciao.
~Jessica
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Ever since... well, for a long time, I've wanted to move. Get up, go away, explore someplace new, adapt and grow as a person, and take my nearest and dearest with me. I don't know where I'd go or what I'd do - for I sure don't have a job anywhere else - but I just want to GO. I think someone had the opportunity to grow and really evolve when they're put into a new place with new people. Granted, it also might be the fact that I've lived on the same street for nearly 16-17 years... I moved out of my mother's house and into an apartment with my husband FOUR HOUSES DOWN... great apartment, but I'm ready for a change of scenery.
Problem is - hubbs doesn't want to move. At least not any time soon. And I'm torn between moving to OK with my father and my step family (awesome, awesome bunch), or if I should move to Charleston. For a while, my sister Karyn, my friend Brittany, and I (seriously, we're all epic together) have wanted to live in Charleston together. But Britt's down South somewhere on the Gulf right now, Karyn's in RVA about to move up to PA, and I just learned that Britt MIGHT be getting an internship up in RVA, but we don't know when that'll happen, so it's not looking like Charleston is due to occur any time soon. Oh, and there's that thing called a husband I have to convince.
But then I think... Okay, my hours have been cut in half. I have more time to write (WHICH, by the way, I'm steadily doing and it is finally going somewhere. Still don't really know what the plot is about, but it's beginning to get to the point that I've been seriously contemplating picking up some index cards, writing who the characters are and how they're associated with one another, and plastering them all over my office/living room walls so when I get further into the book, I remember everyone and have at least some semblance of an idea that I can keep plugging at. This is good. I've written more pages than I've gotten right now, but I've not reached this point in my writing ever before. Yay, new lands, unexplored territories, and I can't wait to see where these characters take me!), and I have more time to do Mary Kay. But I also want to leave; however, my social life is finally getting to the point where I want it to be, I've been very good at spending -- I've just now spent the $4 that was in my wallet, which was there for about two weeks, and usually money only survives a day or two when I have it within my grasp -- and life is beginning to take shape. So maybe I SHOULDN'T go anywhere. Because, after all, I really don't want to lose the friends I have (although, being a military brat when younger, I realize and believe that good friends will remain your friends regardless of where you go, and you'll always meet new friends and have a good life where ever go you), and I don't want to move away from my Mary Kay family, and I want to see where I can go with this awesome flexibility of half days at the doctor's office, other portion of the time, Mary Kay, another good chunk writing, and THEN, have plenty of time to be home, taking care of my adorably wonderful kitties, and... God forbid... children. So.
Tim emailed me a nice long email of where he wants to go and what he wants to do and he wants to stay here for at least another 5-6 years. I admit I was hesitant and annoyed at this, because by then I'll be 30, and he'll be really into his career, and would he really be willing to move then? Because I really don't want to blink and be 50 and still here... in Suffolk... although Suffolk's okay... I like Suffolk... just don't want to retire here. 0_0 But the more I think about it, the more it's probably a very good idea that we stay where we are as I write my novel -- YEE, I'M WRITING A BOOK, Y'ALL!!!! -- and really expand this Mary Kay thing.
So I think we're staying put.
But I do really want to get off this street. I like this street. But I want somewhere new.
So do we buy a house? We're kind of broke. I want to keep renting so we aren't stuck here, even though I know now isn't necessarily a good time to leave. But buying would also better credit scores and we'd develop whatever it is you learn and develop when you own a house, and it'd be a good way for me to feel like I'm starting something and somewhere new even though I'm in still in Hampton Roads. I used to hate the idea of the peninsula, but believe it or not, I'm actually contemplating it. That or Virginia Beach... Ugh. Maybe not VAB. I like VAB and all the wonderful people in that area, but maybe not VAB... The peninsula would be cool, but that's also far away from all my other nearest and dearest, but it's also closer to Tim's work which means he'd use less gas, and the fact that I'm working less often won't really be an issue because his Charger won't be guzzling too much money.
Hm...
And my calf hurts. Like a mother-effer. Two Saturdays ago, I ran 4miles after not having ran for... oh, 3-4 months. My calves were tight but I stretched them and then I was good to go. Then last Saturday, they were lose and I wanted to continue running, because I really enjoyed it last time, so I ran me a 5k through the neighborhood, using for the first time my nifty iPod Tim bought me for Christmas, and then my calf was REALLY tight. I'm talking just my left one. My right one was sore, but my left one... good Lord. I haven't been able to walk without it hurting (I don't limp, but every step stretches it), and I have exercised Monday-Thursday, but today was REALLY painful when I tried to do the regular jumping exercises I do. I did the P90X Cardio DVD and when I started doing the "jump rope" and "jump shot" my calf lit up like fire and yet at the same time, knotted so hard that when I went into "downward dog," I literally gasped and had to stop, wherein I slowly stretched.
So I stopped the exercise, did some cool down, and am planning to do some stretches today and tomorrow. Because this thing needs to heal. I hate not being able to get a good cardio workout in and even more than that -- and this is so ridiculous -- I'M GOING TO PBR TOMORROW! Wahoooo!!!! I'm so stoked, first time in over a month, but when I get on that bull, I use my legs, so I need to rest them so I can do well on the bull again! And dance. But oy, I'll be so mad if my legs hurt too much for me to ride the bull. Sigh. Oh, first world problems. :P Hehe
So I'm off work today, have already written part of my book, and am now being a housewife. Laundry's going and Tim wants me to put in a roast, but he hasn't responded to my texts and I sure as hell don't know how to do a roast. So I'm thinking we'll do that Saturday and I'll just make him chicken tonight. Chicken is more desirable to me anyway. I like beef and steak, and believe me, I used to easily - EASILY - kill a 16oz and look at everyone else's wanting to know if they were done yet, but now I have a steak once every 2-3 months and I usually don't want another for another couple months. I LOVE them, particularly when they're bloody and red and delicious, but chicken, turkey, and fish are now more my flavor.
I watched Jenna Marbles (Oy... kills brains cells, but oh so wonderful) and she said she was a vegan for 6 days out of the week and had one cheat day. I keep hearing really, really good things about people who go vegetarian and vegan for most of the week and I admit I've entertained the thought but OH, to not eat eggs? CHEESE? Creamy stuff, because it has animal byproducts? Number one -- we're omnivores. We were designed to eat both plants and meat, so I strongly believe that meat is ESSENTIAL to a good diet, and I love meat too much to give it up, even if I do give myself a cheat day every week. Maybe I'll try doing 2-3 vegetarian days a week. That might work. If people really do feel as awesome as they say they do, I want in, I do, but I'm not going to ignore my biology just because today's world has supposedly transcended basic biology.
Anyhow, I'm on a rant now. I've got a Mary Kay event tonight -- woo! -- and a 2.5hr Sex and the City marathon waiting for me to watch it on my DVR.
Here's to exploring new places and growing yourself within the same township! But I do want to at least move. So... I think it's time to at least start planning where we can restart in the greater Hampton Roads so I can feel that I'm at least progressing somewhat in my life.
Peace, love, and hair grease --
Jess
Problem is - hubbs doesn't want to move. At least not any time soon. And I'm torn between moving to OK with my father and my step family (awesome, awesome bunch), or if I should move to Charleston. For a while, my sister Karyn, my friend Brittany, and I (seriously, we're all epic together) have wanted to live in Charleston together. But Britt's down South somewhere on the Gulf right now, Karyn's in RVA about to move up to PA, and I just learned that Britt MIGHT be getting an internship up in RVA, but we don't know when that'll happen, so it's not looking like Charleston is due to occur any time soon. Oh, and there's that thing called a husband I have to convince.
But then I think... Okay, my hours have been cut in half. I have more time to write (WHICH, by the way, I'm steadily doing and it is finally going somewhere. Still don't really know what the plot is about, but it's beginning to get to the point that I've been seriously contemplating picking up some index cards, writing who the characters are and how they're associated with one another, and plastering them all over my office/living room walls so when I get further into the book, I remember everyone and have at least some semblance of an idea that I can keep plugging at. This is good. I've written more pages than I've gotten right now, but I've not reached this point in my writing ever before. Yay, new lands, unexplored territories, and I can't wait to see where these characters take me!), and I have more time to do Mary Kay. But I also want to leave; however, my social life is finally getting to the point where I want it to be, I've been very good at spending -- I've just now spent the $4 that was in my wallet, which was there for about two weeks, and usually money only survives a day or two when I have it within my grasp -- and life is beginning to take shape. So maybe I SHOULDN'T go anywhere. Because, after all, I really don't want to lose the friends I have (although, being a military brat when younger, I realize and believe that good friends will remain your friends regardless of where you go, and you'll always meet new friends and have a good life where ever go you), and I don't want to move away from my Mary Kay family, and I want to see where I can go with this awesome flexibility of half days at the doctor's office, other portion of the time, Mary Kay, another good chunk writing, and THEN, have plenty of time to be home, taking care of my adorably wonderful kitties, and... God forbid... children. So.
Tim emailed me a nice long email of where he wants to go and what he wants to do and he wants to stay here for at least another 5-6 years. I admit I was hesitant and annoyed at this, because by then I'll be 30, and he'll be really into his career, and would he really be willing to move then? Because I really don't want to blink and be 50 and still here... in Suffolk... although Suffolk's okay... I like Suffolk... just don't want to retire here. 0_0 But the more I think about it, the more it's probably a very good idea that we stay where we are as I write my novel -- YEE, I'M WRITING A BOOK, Y'ALL!!!! -- and really expand this Mary Kay thing.
So I think we're staying put.
But I do really want to get off this street. I like this street. But I want somewhere new.
So do we buy a house? We're kind of broke. I want to keep renting so we aren't stuck here, even though I know now isn't necessarily a good time to leave. But buying would also better credit scores and we'd develop whatever it is you learn and develop when you own a house, and it'd be a good way for me to feel like I'm starting something and somewhere new even though I'm in still in Hampton Roads. I used to hate the idea of the peninsula, but believe it or not, I'm actually contemplating it. That or Virginia Beach... Ugh. Maybe not VAB. I like VAB and all the wonderful people in that area, but maybe not VAB... The peninsula would be cool, but that's also far away from all my other nearest and dearest, but it's also closer to Tim's work which means he'd use less gas, and the fact that I'm working less often won't really be an issue because his Charger won't be guzzling too much money.
Hm...
And my calf hurts. Like a mother-effer. Two Saturdays ago, I ran 4miles after not having ran for... oh, 3-4 months. My calves were tight but I stretched them and then I was good to go. Then last Saturday, they were lose and I wanted to continue running, because I really enjoyed it last time, so I ran me a 5k through the neighborhood, using for the first time my nifty iPod Tim bought me for Christmas, and then my calf was REALLY tight. I'm talking just my left one. My right one was sore, but my left one... good Lord. I haven't been able to walk without it hurting (I don't limp, but every step stretches it), and I have exercised Monday-Thursday, but today was REALLY painful when I tried to do the regular jumping exercises I do. I did the P90X Cardio DVD and when I started doing the "jump rope" and "jump shot" my calf lit up like fire and yet at the same time, knotted so hard that when I went into "downward dog," I literally gasped and had to stop, wherein I slowly stretched.
So I stopped the exercise, did some cool down, and am planning to do some stretches today and tomorrow. Because this thing needs to heal. I hate not being able to get a good cardio workout in and even more than that -- and this is so ridiculous -- I'M GOING TO PBR TOMORROW! Wahoooo!!!! I'm so stoked, first time in over a month, but when I get on that bull, I use my legs, so I need to rest them so I can do well on the bull again! And dance. But oy, I'll be so mad if my legs hurt too much for me to ride the bull. Sigh. Oh, first world problems. :P Hehe
So I'm off work today, have already written part of my book, and am now being a housewife. Laundry's going and Tim wants me to put in a roast, but he hasn't responded to my texts and I sure as hell don't know how to do a roast. So I'm thinking we'll do that Saturday and I'll just make him chicken tonight. Chicken is more desirable to me anyway. I like beef and steak, and believe me, I used to easily - EASILY - kill a 16oz and look at everyone else's wanting to know if they were done yet, but now I have a steak once every 2-3 months and I usually don't want another for another couple months. I LOVE them, particularly when they're bloody and red and delicious, but chicken, turkey, and fish are now more my flavor.
I watched Jenna Marbles (Oy... kills brains cells, but oh so wonderful) and she said she was a vegan for 6 days out of the week and had one cheat day. I keep hearing really, really good things about people who go vegetarian and vegan for most of the week and I admit I've entertained the thought but OH, to not eat eggs? CHEESE? Creamy stuff, because it has animal byproducts? Number one -- we're omnivores. We were designed to eat both plants and meat, so I strongly believe that meat is ESSENTIAL to a good diet, and I love meat too much to give it up, even if I do give myself a cheat day every week. Maybe I'll try doing 2-3 vegetarian days a week. That might work. If people really do feel as awesome as they say they do, I want in, I do, but I'm not going to ignore my biology just because today's world has supposedly transcended basic biology.
Anyhow, I'm on a rant now. I've got a Mary Kay event tonight -- woo! -- and a 2.5hr Sex and the City marathon waiting for me to watch it on my DVR.
Here's to exploring new places and growing yourself within the same township! But I do want to at least move. So... I think it's time to at least start planning where we can restart in the greater Hampton Roads so I can feel that I'm at least progressing somewhat in my life.
Peace, love, and hair grease --
Jess
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Greetings Earthlings
I come in peace! Or so I think.
Herein lies a record of my days henceforth to which I will attempt to prolong as long as consciously possible. Please be forewarned that this may include too many drawn-out monologues on things or ideas which may or may not be relevant to the initial postings and I may lose the point I initially made out to set -- but I guess that's just blogging in general. But nonetheless, I embark on this journey of recording my superfluous thoughts in hopes of either discarding them from my brain so I can focus on more pertinent things at hand as well as to hold myself accountable to the list of desired duties I have assigned myself.
So here goes nothing. Welcome to the wonderful world of Jessica D! I pray you don't fall asleep on me.
So post one. I'm a writer. I've wanted to write a novel ever since I've been able to hold a pen, and dare I even say it, I think I've finally started one! For the last two weeks, I've been writing approximately a page or two a day. I've got about 25 pages right now, so it's averaging to about 2pgs/day, but my goal is just one a day, that way I can bang it out and then not feel guilty as I crawl on the couch with a glass of wine or a beer with my cat Dakota and watch the mind-numbing but oh-so-addicting television shows like True Blood and Vampire Diaries (yes, I am one of those). I guess that's cheating? Eh, eh, but maybe not -- I often write more than I intend to, which is freaking AWESOME. Have no idea where it's going yet though... ahh, the writer's paradox!
I'm also a Mary Kay consultant. Quite literally the best skin care I've ever tried, #1 best-seller for the last 14 years consecutively in the US, in the top 10 in the world, and the only cosmetic company in the top 20 (all of these, btw, are outside studies) brands to give the most customers what they look for in a product... So yes, I'm one of those as well. But if you took the time to learn what they are (extremely positive, outgoing, goal-getting, supportive women who believe anyone can do anything they set their minds to, and who just want to help women achieve their goals and dreams), you wouldn't have that slight hesitation and accommodating thought of, "Oh boy, here she goes." Don't worry, this blog isn't about me trying to sell anyone anything. But I am trying to buckle down and believe in myself the way I used to before I entered this thing called "the Real World," and fell victim to have too much month at the end of my money and losing half my hours due to the economy (yay, Obama! Okay, I won't go there; no one person can ever be blamed for anything going on in the country. Besides, I'm not even that political. We won't dwell...). My goal is Directorship and I have the drive and the work ethic, but not yet the belief in myself, and so I'm working on that. I may post about it, so just an fyi, so you know what the hell I'm talking about.
I curse. I love the F word. It's my favorite. So is twat. That one makes me giggle. Particularly:
"Twat did you say? I cunt believe you said that." Ha-ha-HA!! But I will try not to speak too many harsh curse words so people (ahem... my grandparents) don't get offended in case they read and/or stumble upon my blog. Actually, it's just for my grandparents. I don't give a FUCK if I offend anyone, and honestly, I think that is one of this country's major problems. We care too much if we hurt somebody's feelings. Grow up, grow some balls, and actually act like an adult and realize the world doesn't revolve around you and what you do and don't like or care about. Jeeeez, shut up.
But I love America. We've got some issues and some of them seriously scare but still - Go Uncle Sam!
Anyhow. I'm also an exerciser. Avid. Never ever thought I'd say that. Ever. I exercise 5-6 days a week, anywhere between 45-60 minutes. Sometimes if I get hammered (not often), I will only exercise 5 days a week, but if that's the case and I know I'm going out, I make the 5 days seriously hardcore, sweat-my-ass-off exercises. It's a combination of P90X, Insanity, and jogging. Yay to all of them. I love it. I wake up at about 430am, exercise at 5am, and am ready for work, make-up'ed and fed by 720am, which works wonders because if I need to be at work at 8am, I need to leave at 720am (I work half-days at a doctor's office, usually going in mornings and getting off in the afternoon, but some days I work in the afternoon, on which days I can sleep in, but I still tend to force myself out of bed at 430a, but I'm considering not doing that... we''ll see how that goes).
I eat well, but I'm no vegan or vegetarian. I love my meats. And sweets. Right now, it's lent, and although I am not Catholic, I am attempting to see how well I do without eating ANY sweets, mints, or gum, for 40 days until Easter. I think I'm on day 4 or 5... I'm not really counting because it'll make me sad, but all I can tell you is that I'm going to have one HUGE bowl of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and crunched oreos when I'm done... and then probably something else. Oh, perhaps sweets are an addiction?! I miss them. And I think they miss me. BRIGHT SIDE -- I'm already slim, but I'm already seeing a slimmer me show because of the lack of sugar. This is uber fantasic and really depressing at the same time, because I cannot WAIT until Easter!
My other job besides writing (YES, I AM MAKING IT A JOB, ELSE I MAY ALLOW MYSELF TO NOT DO IT!!!! I'm a writer and I write for a living... I partially do, actually. I write an article or so a month for a local newspaper. Doesn't pay much, but I'm published, damn it) is working at a concierge medical practice, which is freaking AWESOME, and all into proactive and preventative health care, which I believe -- and studies show -- is the best way to maintain optimal health and happiness instead of waiting for sickness and THEN taking action (www.CornerstonePrivatePractice.com). Don't tell them about the blog -- they may not like all these curses, etc, but this blog is for me and those who care. I'm not going to be bashing anything or really promoting anything, just ranting about my life, much like I'm doing here, but instead of long, drawn-out "this is who I am, and I feel the irresistible urge to explain it to you before I can start properly blogging", it will actually be about, oh, my WONDERFUL life. Because my life is wonderful. Many parts of it, anyway.
I'm married to a wonderful man who treats me like a queen. He and I aren't perfect, but he's perfect for me and I'm trying to be perfect for him. I love him dearly. As of right now, we've been married for 2yrs, 8mos, and have been together for almost 7.5yrs. Stole him from my best friend in high school... yep, one of those as well. But not really, actually, it kind of just happened... but she gave us her blessing and we still talk, but not much because she's in another state and doing her own thing which doesn't really fit with my life anymore. I also have two cats, Jynx (black and white spotted, who is my husband's kitty; he calls him his "gaming kitty," because hubbs plays XBOX all the time), and Dakota (I often call her Kota) and she is my cat who loves me above my hubbs and usually only comes out for me and rarely wants to cuddle him. It may be selfish, but I love it. >:) She often sits by me/tries to lie on my laptop when I am writing my book.
I love going to do things. Parks, jogging, running, hiking, camping, SKYDIVING (OMG, I went skydiving for the first time ever on 06/17/2012, Father's Day -- oops, haha -- and I'm addicted. Is truly amazing, safer than driving/riding in a car (SERIOUSLY!), and it will change your life for the better. If you've ever entertained it -- DO IT!! I recommend www.SkydiveSuffolk.com). I like to be home, but not every night, and I only need about 1-2 nights of doing nothing a week, and then I get majorly bored and want to go see people, even if they just come over. When I DO go out with friends, it's not often out to bars, but lately I've started liking mechanical BULL RIDING. My current addiction is PBR (Professional Bull Riding), with a dance floor, DJ, country music as well as the top 40 hip hop hits, and a mechanical bull. Don't go every weekend -- more like once a month, maybe twice, but I do go other places too, so yeah, maybe once a month is about right -- and I've actually gotten pretty good at the bull, if I do say so myself! I also am into rock climbing (not the reall stuff... haven't graduated to that level yet), and I just bought myself some pole dancing lessons on Groupon... that'll be interesting. It may be harder to do than I realize. Oy!
I have a BA in English Writing but I have no clue what I'm going to do with my degree. I'm hoping I can become a Mary Kay Director really quickly, get myself a free car, and then just write books all day long and occasionally give women makeovers and still have money and time to do whatever, raise a kid (in the FAR future), and just have time! Sounds great yeah?! I'm stoked about it. But I got to work. And I think too much. I overthink a LOT of things ALL the time. So hence the blog.
BTW, if you are a "commenter" on blogs, please note that I often do not check the comments only because I forget. Nothing personal.
I think that's all I can think of to start this thing and get you all acquainted with my life. I'm planning to write in this thing 3-5 (or more) times a week.
Anyhow. C'est la vie!
~Jess
Herein lies a record of my days henceforth to which I will attempt to prolong as long as consciously possible. Please be forewarned that this may include too many drawn-out monologues on things or ideas which may or may not be relevant to the initial postings and I may lose the point I initially made out to set -- but I guess that's just blogging in general. But nonetheless, I embark on this journey of recording my superfluous thoughts in hopes of either discarding them from my brain so I can focus on more pertinent things at hand as well as to hold myself accountable to the list of desired duties I have assigned myself.
So here goes nothing. Welcome to the wonderful world of Jessica D! I pray you don't fall asleep on me.
So post one. I'm a writer. I've wanted to write a novel ever since I've been able to hold a pen, and dare I even say it, I think I've finally started one! For the last two weeks, I've been writing approximately a page or two a day. I've got about 25 pages right now, so it's averaging to about 2pgs/day, but my goal is just one a day, that way I can bang it out and then not feel guilty as I crawl on the couch with a glass of wine or a beer with my cat Dakota and watch the mind-numbing but oh-so-addicting television shows like True Blood and Vampire Diaries (yes, I am one of those). I guess that's cheating? Eh, eh, but maybe not -- I often write more than I intend to, which is freaking AWESOME. Have no idea where it's going yet though... ahh, the writer's paradox!
I'm also a Mary Kay consultant. Quite literally the best skin care I've ever tried, #1 best-seller for the last 14 years consecutively in the US, in the top 10 in the world, and the only cosmetic company in the top 20 (all of these, btw, are outside studies) brands to give the most customers what they look for in a product... So yes, I'm one of those as well. But if you took the time to learn what they are (extremely positive, outgoing, goal-getting, supportive women who believe anyone can do anything they set their minds to, and who just want to help women achieve their goals and dreams), you wouldn't have that slight hesitation and accommodating thought of, "Oh boy, here she goes." Don't worry, this blog isn't about me trying to sell anyone anything. But I am trying to buckle down and believe in myself the way I used to before I entered this thing called "the Real World," and fell victim to have too much month at the end of my money and losing half my hours due to the economy (yay, Obama! Okay, I won't go there; no one person can ever be blamed for anything going on in the country. Besides, I'm not even that political. We won't dwell...). My goal is Directorship and I have the drive and the work ethic, but not yet the belief in myself, and so I'm working on that. I may post about it, so just an fyi, so you know what the hell I'm talking about.
I curse. I love the F word. It's my favorite. So is twat. That one makes me giggle. Particularly:
"Twat did you say? I cunt believe you said that." Ha-ha-HA!! But I will try not to speak too many harsh curse words so people (ahem... my grandparents) don't get offended in case they read and/or stumble upon my blog. Actually, it's just for my grandparents. I don't give a FUCK if I offend anyone, and honestly, I think that is one of this country's major problems. We care too much if we hurt somebody's feelings. Grow up, grow some balls, and actually act like an adult and realize the world doesn't revolve around you and what you do and don't like or care about. Jeeeez, shut up.
But I love America. We've got some issues and some of them seriously scare but still - Go Uncle Sam!
Anyhow. I'm also an exerciser. Avid. Never ever thought I'd say that. Ever. I exercise 5-6 days a week, anywhere between 45-60 minutes. Sometimes if I get hammered (not often), I will only exercise 5 days a week, but if that's the case and I know I'm going out, I make the 5 days seriously hardcore, sweat-my-ass-off exercises. It's a combination of P90X, Insanity, and jogging. Yay to all of them. I love it. I wake up at about 430am, exercise at 5am, and am ready for work, make-up'ed and fed by 720am, which works wonders because if I need to be at work at 8am, I need to leave at 720am (I work half-days at a doctor's office, usually going in mornings and getting off in the afternoon, but some days I work in the afternoon, on which days I can sleep in, but I still tend to force myself out of bed at 430a, but I'm considering not doing that... we''ll see how that goes).
I eat well, but I'm no vegan or vegetarian. I love my meats. And sweets. Right now, it's lent, and although I am not Catholic, I am attempting to see how well I do without eating ANY sweets, mints, or gum, for 40 days until Easter. I think I'm on day 4 or 5... I'm not really counting because it'll make me sad, but all I can tell you is that I'm going to have one HUGE bowl of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and crunched oreos when I'm done... and then probably something else. Oh, perhaps sweets are an addiction?! I miss them. And I think they miss me. BRIGHT SIDE -- I'm already slim, but I'm already seeing a slimmer me show because of the lack of sugar. This is uber fantasic and really depressing at the same time, because I cannot WAIT until Easter!
My other job besides writing (YES, I AM MAKING IT A JOB, ELSE I MAY ALLOW MYSELF TO NOT DO IT!!!! I'm a writer and I write for a living... I partially do, actually. I write an article or so a month for a local newspaper. Doesn't pay much, but I'm published, damn it) is working at a concierge medical practice, which is freaking AWESOME, and all into proactive and preventative health care, which I believe -- and studies show -- is the best way to maintain optimal health and happiness instead of waiting for sickness and THEN taking action (www.CornerstonePrivatePractice.com). Don't tell them about the blog -- they may not like all these curses, etc, but this blog is for me and those who care. I'm not going to be bashing anything or really promoting anything, just ranting about my life, much like I'm doing here, but instead of long, drawn-out "this is who I am, and I feel the irresistible urge to explain it to you before I can start properly blogging", it will actually be about, oh, my WONDERFUL life. Because my life is wonderful. Many parts of it, anyway.
I'm married to a wonderful man who treats me like a queen. He and I aren't perfect, but he's perfect for me and I'm trying to be perfect for him. I love him dearly. As of right now, we've been married for 2yrs, 8mos, and have been together for almost 7.5yrs. Stole him from my best friend in high school... yep, one of those as well. But not really, actually, it kind of just happened... but she gave us her blessing and we still talk, but not much because she's in another state and doing her own thing which doesn't really fit with my life anymore. I also have two cats, Jynx (black and white spotted, who is my husband's kitty; he calls him his "gaming kitty," because hubbs plays XBOX all the time), and Dakota (I often call her Kota) and she is my cat who loves me above my hubbs and usually only comes out for me and rarely wants to cuddle him. It may be selfish, but I love it. >:) She often sits by me/tries to lie on my laptop when I am writing my book.
I love going to do things. Parks, jogging, running, hiking, camping, SKYDIVING (OMG, I went skydiving for the first time ever on 06/17/2012, Father's Day -- oops, haha -- and I'm addicted. Is truly amazing, safer than driving/riding in a car (SERIOUSLY!), and it will change your life for the better. If you've ever entertained it -- DO IT!! I recommend www.SkydiveSuffolk.com). I like to be home, but not every night, and I only need about 1-2 nights of doing nothing a week, and then I get majorly bored and want to go see people, even if they just come over. When I DO go out with friends, it's not often out to bars, but lately I've started liking mechanical BULL RIDING. My current addiction is PBR (Professional Bull Riding), with a dance floor, DJ, country music as well as the top 40 hip hop hits, and a mechanical bull. Don't go every weekend -- more like once a month, maybe twice, but I do go other places too, so yeah, maybe once a month is about right -- and I've actually gotten pretty good at the bull, if I do say so myself! I also am into rock climbing (not the reall stuff... haven't graduated to that level yet), and I just bought myself some pole dancing lessons on Groupon... that'll be interesting. It may be harder to do than I realize. Oy!
I have a BA in English Writing but I have no clue what I'm going to do with my degree. I'm hoping I can become a Mary Kay Director really quickly, get myself a free car, and then just write books all day long and occasionally give women makeovers and still have money and time to do whatever, raise a kid (in the FAR future), and just have time! Sounds great yeah?! I'm stoked about it. But I got to work. And I think too much. I overthink a LOT of things ALL the time. So hence the blog.
BTW, if you are a "commenter" on blogs, please note that I often do not check the comments only because I forget. Nothing personal.
I think that's all I can think of to start this thing and get you all acquainted with my life. I'm planning to write in this thing 3-5 (or more) times a week.
Anyhow. C'est la vie!
~Jess
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